Growing up, my mom always made sure I understood whatever situation I was exposed to. She always taught me to be accepting of every race, religion, sexual orientation, gender, and economic class. I have always tried to live my life in the accepting way my mother taught me. Over the summer, however, I learned how racist and discriminatory my boyfriend could be. We were watching a movie and he commented on it, calling the Italians in the movie by a derogatory name. Being Italian, I took personal offense to the comment. He had no clue why I was offended. Shortly after this, my boyfriend and I were driving and he got angry at another driver, who looked Middle Eastern. The short burst of words that came out of my boyfriend's mouth were not only offensive, but they were full of unsupported claims about the man, like that he was cheap, illegally in America, and was a terrorist. We ended up getting into a pretty big fight over his words. When we calmly talked about the incidents, he explained to me that he was never taught acceptance by his parents, and to him, racism is natural. For me, acceptance is natural and socially accepted, to the point where I told him that if he continues his racist comments around me, I would break up with him.
Although he has ceased the racist comments around me, it still bothers me to know that he is racist. I have never experienced racism in such a way, and it bother me to know that the man I am dating isn't as accepting of differences as I am. Our different upbringings have led to two completely different perspectives on equality and acceptance.
First off, you go girl for telling your boyfriend that you would break up with him if he did not stop using racial slurs around you. It shows how important it is to you. I agree with you that if parents teach their kids to be accepting of all different kinds of people, they are more likely not to be racist and such. My father grew up in South Carolina and basically his entire family is quite racist. My dad never taught me to hate people who are different but every once in awhile he will slip up and make a racist comment. Luckily my mother keeps him in line and tell him that what he said is wrong but now I sometimes find myself being racist without even thinking about it. I grew up in a place where there was not much diversity, which did not help either. Even though I know it is wrong to be racist, it is almost as if I can not help but to think in that manner occasionally because it is something I grew up with. Now I live in New Orleans which has so much diversity and I have been given the chance to get to know so many different kinds of people. I have been working on changing the entire way I think about other people and not to judge them so quickly.
ReplyDeleteI very much commend you for admitting that you have racist thoughts sometimes - growing up in a non-diverse, racist place wasn't your choice. But I'm also very happy that you have been working on changing your perspective - I'm hoping my boyfriend will work on changing his. Like I always tell him, we're all human beings, no matter our background, religion, or skin color, and we all deserve the respect of those around us. =]
DeleteHey! I thought that is was a great post and comments on an important issue that lingers in the US. I grew up in the greater Boston area and went to a Charter School that was 48% Haitian and 30% latino, making me (a white girl) the minority. I obviously knew of racism and its history, but never really experienced it, living with people of all different ethnic and cultural backgrounds was normal for me. When I left Boston and started traveling more I realized that racism is still a huge problem and its something that people will do subconsciously. While your boyfriend may not mean to be racist or judgmental, it is important for him and others to realize that what they are saying or thinking may be offensive.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what specific symbol you are addressing here.
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