Accepting "Y'all"

Yankee Doodle source

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When I was eight, I moved from New York to North Carolina. Prior to our move, I knew little about southern culture, so little that I was surprised when I heard someone say “y’all” because I thought that southern accents were a thing of the past only existent in old westerns and history (clearly not so). When we moved, I felt like an other myself. A girl in my third grade class called me a “Yankee,” and I didn’t know what that was—I just knew we rooted for them.     I also felt like an other because I was the new kid at school. Feeling like an outsider among my peers led me to otherize southerners, mostly in middle school, when cliques ruled. I went to a middle school that seemed to be run by blonde cheerleader clones and jocks, none of which I have ever been. They all had thick southern accents and ribbons in their hair, and it seemed clear that I was not like them. The reason that I would never be like them was because I was from the north, I thought, and I did not go to elementary school with all of them. I thought that middle school in New York must be very different, and only there would I fit in. I was wrong. It was just the school and the age. After 7th grade, I transferred to a school that focused on the arts and had a more eclectic student-body, and I flourished there. I still think southerners are different than northerners in some ways, but there are all kinds of people everywhere, and culture is not confined to location.

Mean Girls

Growing up always feeling like the odd-girl-out, I learned at a young age to embrace my quirky individuality.  I didn't always do it in a healthy way though, especially in middle school.  I always acted as if the "popular girls" were really the weird ones, I made fun of them, and I criticized them for qualities I had no proof of (intelligence, promiscuity, etc.).  As I grew up and became more comfortable in my own skin, I realized that not only was I otherizing the "popular girls", I was also making myself the "other" by setting myself apart from everyone else and only associating with people who were like me (quirky, awkward, liked a certain music).

Otherization is extremely prevalent in our society, from movies like "Mean Girls" to sports team preferences to racial profiling.  The movie "Mean Girls" is a perfect example of otherizing, particularly when the main character, Cady, is introduced to the cliques of the high school, particularly the "plastics".  Janis, another character tells her all about the "plastics" - how they're cold, slutty, and "bitchy".  This otherization is just one example of many in the movie.

A Temporary Home After Hurricane Katrina

A Flooded School after Hurricane Katrina

     After Hurricane Katrina, my family was temporarily relocated and I had to attend a new high school. It was the beginning of my freshmen year, so high school in general was a new concept to me. I went from a suburban to a rural area, and the people were quite different than what I was familiar with. I grew up with most of the students in my high school and had a group of close friends, whereas I didn’t know anybody at this new school. I was approaching the situation with a negative attitude because I did not want to be there.

An "Old" Desk with Cubby Hole

     There were issues here that were not present at my old school. The desks were old with cubby holes inside of them, a few of which had cans full of chewing tobacco spit. Everybody smoked, which wasn’t a big deal, but the bathrooms were full of cigarette smoke. I had to wait in line for the bathroom because students were in the stalls smoking. The curriculum that we started with had been covered in my junior high school. I separated myself from the situation and people as if I were an “other” in an “otherized” place. It’s interesting how the “other” can work both ways.

I had a Similar Reaction. 

     After a week or two, I noticed more positive aspects of this transition. I met nice people and realized that the faculty was in a semi-stalemate with students to prevent smoking in the bathroom. In retrospect, I otherized this new high school and town as being “hick” because it was not MY high school or town. When I was placed in a position that strayed from my normal standards, otherizing was almost a form of defense to handle the new environment.

Belligerent Activities

Whenever I go out to a bar,  I find that I am constantly "otherizing" people who act different than the norm.  Now when I say different than the norm, I mean people who get really loud and belligerent and dance with rambunctious, uncoordinated mannerisms.  I can't help but stare and laugh as they continue to carelessly embarrass themselves.  I always find that no matter where I am, I always single out anyone who acts like this in the bar and spend the whole night randomly staring and laughing and continuously judging them.

This is where the story gets funny.  Recently it was brought to my attention that whenever I'm out and "feeling good," I turn into one of the very people that I continuously "otherize."  Through what my friends have told me and pictures, I learned that I not only act completely ridiculous, but can be very similar to those that I continue to judge while being out.  It's funny for me to think about now because I finally understand how they so carelessly continue to act the way they are acting without stopping to think what other people might be thinking of them.  Whenever I act this way, I just go on living my life and don't care how crazy I am acting.  I become an other, a part of the group that I continuously "otherize."

From Buzzle

 

Preppy Girly Girls

                Have you ever watched a movie or TV show where the setting is in an all-girl private school or boarding school? If you have you notice sometimes they present the girls as rich girly girls, well sadly I believed them. For years I watched those movies and TV shows and assumed that was how the girls were. It wasn't until I was in high school that I realized how wrong I was.
        In my eighth grade year I had to look for a high school to attend the following year. I had charter, magnet, and public schools on my list to learn more about. As I am looking at these schools my parents added all-girl private schools to the list. When I realized this I argued with them about the choice, I did not want to go to an all-girl school. The idea of going to an all-girl school where the girls where preppy girly girls was not an appealing to me. In the end I had no choice.


Ursuline

        Well the following year for high school I ended up at Ursuline Academy, an all-girl school. I entered the year with the stereotype that all the girls there were preppy girly girls. I spent the first week of school watching the girls in my class and distancing myself. In the time I was watching the girls I realized that not all of them fit the sterotype that I had formed in my head about them, sure there were one or two that did but the majority were not. I felt like a fool for assuming that all the girls were like how some movies potrayed them.
          By following a stereotype that I had learned from movies and TV I had "otherized" a group of girls I did not know. By "otherizing" those girls I also made myself the "other," because I made it so I did not fit in with them. Once I realized this I made more of an effort to get to know the girls better and became friends with them. Four years later I graduated from an all-girl school and still am friends with those girls. Its funny how a stereotype can have people "otherizing" each other but learning the stereotype is not true in the end is the best part about it

Football Fanatic

Good old American football. My mind couldn’t help but think of this first as the prime manifestation of “otherization” that I continually partake in. Every Sunday (sometimes more than even just once a week) I find the best TV, with equally boisterous and opinionated friends and being the hour and a half berating session of anyone NOT going for my team. This berating can be minor…in the event that I feel a bit conflicted over which team to root for. Or this can be an all out verbal assault complete with obscenities, name-calling and plenty of curse words.

            I’m not sure what age this became protocol because I was born into a football fanatic family. Since I can remember there have been football parties decked out with buffets of delicious finger foods. How can you resist this awesome fanatic otherizing that guarantees endless parties, cheese trays, buffalo wings and once you’re 21 or sneaky, BEER?!
           Humans have competition rooted in their cores. Their desire to conquer obstacles and prevail in first place is at the center of this kind of sports driven otherization. Sometimes traditions and old habits die-hard…or rather die NEVER. Even instances such as last year’s LSU/Alabama fan tea bagging scandal don’t do much to quell the perpetual and sometimes vulgar rivalry. One thing is for sure, Americans love their football. New Orleans Saints fans remain loyal to their “Who Dat” Nation no matter who next Sunday’s “other” will be. ROLL TIDE.

          

What Happens When You ASSuME?

via shutterstock

My freshman year in high school my grade got three new students.  One was a girl and the other two were guys.  The girl was short with black hair and kind of cute in my opinion.  One of the guys was tall, skinny, and had red hair with freckles.  He was quiet and reserved while the other boy, who was a little bit taller than the girl, was loud and made his presence known as soon as he walked into a room.  He drew attention to himself not only with his loud comments, but also with his attire.  He dressed in bright clothing that seemed a little too tight for him, and was sometimes on the borderline of feminine in my opinion.  He spoke with a slight lisp as well, and because of all of these things I made the quick assumption that he was gay.  I never treated him any differently because of this assumption, except for the fact that I would get slightly awkward whenever we would all have to change for P.E., so the subject of his sexuality never came into discussion.  I just had it in my mind that there was a difference between the two of us, he liked guys and I liked girls.

One day in the locker room all of the guys were talking about the new girl that had joined our grade.  The girls had played volleyball in P.E. and as we were walking in from outside they were still in their uniforms.  Comment after comment got exchanged as everyone threw in their input into how good the new girl looked in her volleyball uniform.  Not too long after the conversation had started, a loud voice erupted amongst the rest.  “SHE IS SOOOOOO FINE!!” the new kid who I had assumed was gay belted out.  When I looked around the locker room I could tell by the surprised facial expressions that I was not the only person who had made this assumption.  I leaned over to the kid and whispered in his ear, “You think she’s hot?”  He nodded rapidly grabbing my shoulders and shaking me, trying to get me to understand his excitement.  I burst into a fit of laughter, thinking about how silly I had been this whole time with my assumption.  I dapped him up and kept why I was laughing to myself.  Everyone in the locker room continued with the conversation and I learned a lesson that I had been told a thousand times over, not to judge a book by its cover.  I had otherized this kid simply because of how he dressed, talked and acted.  I had assumed we were completely different just because we weren’t alike in every way, and I was wrong.